I hate not seeing you

I remember the times where I talked too much and hurtful words were uttered unintentionally. Such were the times where I wished that I'd know to shut my mouth.

God had been good to me and still is. Sometimes, when life seems mundane it's easy to forget that He still looks after me and knows my thoughts and wants. I got what I wanted today. Some see it as sheer luck, but I thanked God in my heart for His gift.

And guess what would come to my mind when I try to remind myself of His grace? Myself kneeling before the Calvary; eyes intent on Him, trying to grasp the bigness of His love. How amazing are the number of ways mortals like us try to imagine and predict Him, knowing we will never fully comprehend Him.

Since the start of this year, there is not a day that goes by without me thinking (sometimes having nightmares) about my new chapter of life after this August. I have had second thoughts of leaving my home country; thinking I can still find a decent job and be as fulfilled - ok, maybe not - but at least comfortable with my life.

Though fearful, I know this is one of those things, if not done, I would always look back and ask "What if?"

I hate to see you leave

I had a train of thought a few minutes ago before I was distracted to think about another matter at hand.

I just came home and I was thinking, then I came to realize that Lydia will be gone in 2 more weeks. How time flies.

"Bad news never had good timing"

Let's enjoy John Mayer's song - Heart of Life



(a good half an hour later)

I introduced Jon Kuek to Victor Yap on msn. So the Biotech people are talking important Biotech stuff now while I watch them chat about cell culturing, pippetting and cloning. Ahh, how fulfilling. Shoot, now he's talking about VIVA. What the heck is that? I think I'm more suited to mastheads, subheads, and bylines.

Different majors, but what a world of difference.

Now, there's always someone to ask about something right Jon?

I have that sudden gush of inspiration now. I think I'll go write a song and be a little self-indulgent for a moment.

Happy Chinese New Year

This is a very belated post in response to the many things I have done in recent days. Things that are missing from this blog among other things would be: my stories of my 8 days in China, my newsletter efforts, waterfall expedition wih cg members, and the 4 pax barbeque.

I finally set aside time to read 'The World Is Flat' by Thomas L. Friedman after hearing (and feeling) raving reviews about it. And I don't want to be left out, so the kiasu me purchased a threebie from MPH 2 days ago for the dirt cheap price of 57 ringgit. Two others are 'Black Swan' and 'Making Globalization Work'. I also picked up 'a backpack and a bit of luck'; I've seen it countless times on the shelves of MPH and even read a chapter but never had the money and urge to pay for it.

Here I am, being part of the flat world, where an individual's voice can be heard through such easy methods (blogging) next to costless. "The playing field is being leveled"

It is the eve of Chinese New Year, mom is of course still busy cleaning up the house and changing anything that has to be replaced. We've already replaced all cabinets in the living room with Chinese antiques that came with price tag I wouldn't agree to. But hey, it's their hard-earned money so I'm all good. Plus, I'm already getting warmed up by the wooden cabinets displaying my own collection (Starbucks mugs, aha!)

I was changing my bedsheet to a new golden colored one (please say you know it's not my choice) and the quilt cover of the same color for my new silk quilt; aha, this I like.

So what has been going on in Janury of 2009? Just a note, I'm glad it's still January because time has seemingly passed me by without much of my noticing that I might have developed a phobia for the ticking clock. Some days, I even lie on my bed with a book or my guitar thinking it's still morning and I have all day; but of course when night falls and the next morning comes, I'll have to face my physics quiz once again.

Also, one thing that I realized this year is, instead of saying "I'll be going off to the States next year", I'm saying "I'll be leaving in 7 months time", (even writing this gave me a horrific jolt). 3 years from now, I'll be a graduate. But how different will the press industry be then? I sure hope newspapers are not obslete yet, die die also I want to write for newspapers - it's a childhood dream thing.

Suddenly I was reminded that I won't have any new clothes to wear tomorrow morning when my brother walked in with yet another carrier bag full of his clothes. How did he buy so many pairs with just 500 bucks?

Nevertheless, new or old clothes, it's still the new year and ang pows!

p.s. Is 'The Bucket List' a good movie? Seems like it to me.

I Carry Your Heart by E.E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in

my heart) i am never without it (anywhere

i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done

by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear

no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet) i want

no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant

and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)